who does the changing?

" We might occasionally be able to change our circumstances, but only God can change our hearts." ~ Beth Moore

The truth is, I spend a lot of time trying to change. I am either acting out that desire to change, or I am thinking about changing. It is usually the latter of the two. Why is it that I continue to think that just hoping something will happen will make it happen. If it is in my realm of control, than I have plenty of work to do. God does his work and I do mine. So God, Which part is mine? Wait a minute, not all of it? Shoot, I thought so.

Anyways, much of my effort is directed towards me becoming a better person. I want to be someone who is neater, more efficient, focused more on others and less on myself. Yet I am continually faced with the truth that I am really none of those things. is this because I have forgotten to accept and love myself first? Is it becasue I am ashamed? possibly. I am hoping that my actions will change my heart, the core o who I am, how I think and operate. What a pity that so many times lately I forget to ask God for his help, to hand the whole deal over to him and go from there. Strange, this feels quite familiar to so many events from my past. God has been trying to teach me this for a long long time. I pray I will absorb these lessons now so other trials don't have to come along to help me learn them. I think the serenity prayer will be sued a lot more lately.

God grant me the serenity
To accept the thigns I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the Wisdom to know the difference
Amen